


Last Thing on the List

by vilia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Smitten Merlin, no magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 18:50:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21150500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vilia/pseuds/vilia
Summary: Merlin makes a series of assumptions about the fit bloke at the supermarket that get in the way of asking the man on a date.





	Last Thing on the List

#### //The Blond Bloke\\\

Merlin checked his shopping list and powerwalked to the produce section where he picked up spinach, lettuce, celery, and apples—though those last weren’t on the list. He skimmed the rest of his paper, mentally calculating how long this was going to take.

There were so many things Merlin would rather be doing right now. He could be at home reading a book or watching telly. He could be out at the pub with Will and Gwen. He could be chatting with his mum on the phone. He’d even rather be grading papers. It was damned inconvenient, this whole needing-to-eat business. Not that he minded the actual eating part, or even cooking, really, but the act of procuring the food, it was such an annoyance. If only he were willing to live on boxed meals and tinned or frozen foods, he could stock up and limit his trips to the supermarket, but even discounting health reasons, he rather liked fresh fruits and vegetables.

This distaste for the supermarket wasn’t new. In fact, he’d rather avoid all errands if he could. He’d been fine with them when he’d just had to help out his mum, but then he’d gone to work for Mr. Killian during university. He’d lived at home and had a scholarship that paid his tuition, but he’d still needed pocket money to pay for things like drinks at the pub with his friends or a night at the cinema. The old coot had him running clear across town for the most obscure reasons, paying no mind to how many exams he had or how much homework he needed to be doing. He should have just taken that tutoring job instead, but that was all in the past now.

The supermarket though, the supermarket was definitely the worst. Not only was there the regularity with which he was obligated to buy food, but there was the ever-present risk of being recognized by a student or their parents. Even if he managed to avoid that, there was an annoying cashier who always commented on his purchases. Merlin tried to avoid her lane, but it always seemed to have the shortest queue. And so it was a never ending string of judgment. “This is a bit expensive, isn’t it?” And, “Haven’t tried this yet. I’m trying to eat healthier this year.” And, “You actually like this? I thought it was revolting.”

Merlin gave an involuntary little shiver at the thought. He tried to be optimistic. Maybe he would luck out today. Maybe no one would recognize him. Maybe that cashier wasn’t ev—

Merlin stopped dead in his tracks. A gorgeous blond man stood not ten feet away looking through the selection of packaged meats. Merlin turned suddenly to his left as if he were desperate to analyze the potatoes instead of preventing himself from staring. He allowed himself a furtive glance. The blond man picked up a package of steaks, then continued on his way. Merlin may have been a vegetarian since he was 16, but he would cook that man a steak dinner any day.

As the man disappeared down the bread aisle, Merlin had the sudden urge to follow after him, introduce himself.

_Give it a rest, Merlin_, he told himself. _You know nothing about him_. That wasn’t exactly true. He’d been wearing a perfectly tailored suit with a bold red tie. He could be a business man or maybe a lawyer. Or… okay, so maybe Merlin didn’t know anything other than that he had a nice build, blond hair, and, as Merlin had noted as the man walked away, that he filled out the back side of his trousers quite spectacularly. That had to count for something, right?

Merlin let out a heavy sigh. A man that posh and attractive was probably already taken and even if he wasn’t, he wasn’t likely to be interested in Merlin, a skinny, entry-level science teacher. 

Merlin gave himself a shake, and carried on with his shopping, trying unsuccessfully to put the fit blond out of his head.

#### //The Obnoxious Prat\\\

Merlin didn’t usually have a specific schedule for going to the supermarket. He waited until he had nothing left worth eating and that was when he went. It was the shelf life of produce that usually dictated his schedule. Most weeks he would try and stretch the time between his visits as long as he could, but a certain, foolish part of himself kept whispering, ‘But what if _he_ is there?’ 

It stood to reason that his best chance of seeing the man again was to show up on the same day of the week and at the same time as when he’d first seen him. Merlin wasn’t going to take needless trips to the store—that would just be pathetic—but it wouldn’t be unreasonable to start a regular, weekly schedule. So, the following Wednesday at half six, he was right back where he was when he’d first spotted the blond bloke.

Merlin told himself that he wasn’t watching his surrounding just a little bit more attentively than normal, that he wasn’t hoping that the fit blond did his shopping at the same time each week, but by the time he was clear through the store and heading to the checkout, he was forced to admit to himself that he felt genuinely let down that he hadn’t seen the man. With a heavy sigh, he took his place in the shortest queue and pulled out his mobile to pass the time.

After a minute or so, someone stepped up behind him. Merlin was reading an interesting study about growing crops in simulated Martian soil and didn’t so much as glance at the newcomer. Then the person’s mobile rang and the man—as evidenced by the voice—began his conversation with an irritated greeting, subjecting all within hearing range to his bad mood. It only went downhill from there.

“I told you not to bother me with this. That’s your responsibility, not mine.”

“Since when do you care whether I make senior partner or not? I’m trying to take your recommendation and have a personal life. And—"

“No… No, I’m at the supermarket.”

“Yes! And you’re ruining my opportunity. I would be doing that right now if you hadn’t interrupted me with a call about something you promised you were going to handle yourself.”

“Obnoxious prat,” Merlin muttered under his breath.

“I’m hanging up on you now, Mor—"

Merlin couldn’t tell if he were arguing with a girlfriend or a colleague, but he’d heard enough. The call may be nearly over, but he put in his earbuds and listened to music anyway.

It wasn’t until Merlin’s items were all rung up and bagged that he noticed Obnoxious Prat and Blond Bloke were one and the same. When Merlin happened to catch his eye, the man smiled at him and all irritation at the man’s rudeness evaporated.

“Hi,” Merlin said, feeling inadequate and insignificant.

Then the cashier was asking the maybe businessman, maybe lawyer, a question and Merlin was robbed of his moment.

He would look like a creep if he stood around waiting, and there wasn’t anything reasonable to do that would delay him long enough for the man to check out, so Merlin trudged home. _He only smiled out of courtesy. He doesn’t have any particular interest me._

No doubt it was just wishful thinking, but somehow, he just couldn’t find it in himself to fully believe his negative self-talk.

#### //The Recent Widower\\\

Merlin made sure to be at the supermarket at the same time every week after the whole smiling incident. The man always wore a suit, but tended to have a tension around his eyes that made him look rather exhausted. _Clearly, he’s a hard worker_, Merlin thought with admiration, _but he’s in dire need of a break_—say, for a nice dinner with Merlin, for instance.

After several more minor encounters—two of which were derailed by parents who chose the exact wrong moment to approach him about why their child wasn’t getting a better grade—Merlin decided that he had to take the risk. He might not be interested in men; Merlin had no reason to assume that he was, just a feeling that they’d suit each other well and an incessant little thought that even though Merlin didn’t believe in love at first sight or soulmates or anything like that, that this one man might be able to change his mind.

“Next time I see him, I’m going to do it, Gwen.”

It was Friday night and Merlin and his friends had their usual booth at their favourite pub.

Gwen laughed at him over her glass of wine. “Merlin, you don’t even know this poor bloke’s name yet.”

“That’s why I’m going to do more than just say hello next time. I’ve got a plan, all right?”

Will finally arrived and took a seat beside Gwen.

“Bad day?” Merlin said, gesturing to the two bottles of beer he’d brought over with him from the bar.

“No. Just the opposite. I had a great day.” Will grinned suddenly. “Asked Sefa out.”

“Didn’t think you’d be so happy about a rejection.”

Will shoved at him. “She said yes, you wanker.”

Gwen sighed dramatically. “Will’s got Sefa, Merlin’s soon to have his mystery man, and then I’ll be here all alone, drinking my troubles away.”

“Ah, we’ll still drink with you Gwen!”

“How very kind of you, Merlin.”

“And anyway, I don’t think you’ll be single much longer.”

Gwen’s expression shifted, but instead of looking intrigued or confused, she looked wary. “What did you do?”

“What, me? Nothing!”

“_Merlin…”_

“I didn’t! I swear! Why does everyone always assume I’m up to no good?”

“Because we know you, mate,” Will said.

“Haha,” Merlin said, using his best monotone. “Well, I mean it. Unless you count being a good listener ‘no good.’”

“Listener?”

“Look, I can’t say who, all right? Just know that I have it on very good authority that someone might have a bit of a crush on you.”

“Who?”

“Did I not just say? I can’t tell.”

“It’s not Gwaine, is it, because—”

Merlin put his right hand up. “I swear, it’s not Gwaine.” When Gwen’s suspicious look began to fade, he said, “Your _non-Gwaine_ admirer doesn’t want you to know, but I’m trying to convince him to just tell you already. This isn’t primary school. We’re all adults here. You’re allowed to tell someone you’re interested.”

“Like you’ve done with your mystery man? Oh, wait. You’ve just been staring at him over the biscuit displays.”

“That’s not fair. I told you. I have a plan.”

“We’ll see how that works out for you,” Will said.

“Yes, we expect a full report next week.”

Merlin gave a curt nod and felt an uneasiness settle into his stomach that only grew every day. He hadn’t been this nervous at the prospect of asking someone out in a long time. Then Wednesday finally arrived, and Merlin showed up to the supermarket a few minutes early, hoping he’d have the chance to calm himself and do one last mental run-through of what he wanted to say before his crush arrived.

After nearly 15 minutes of lingering around in the produce department, watching the front entrance like a weirdo, Merlin started to doubt the man was coming. He’d always been so punctual before. Like he left work at the same time each Wednesday and came straight here. Maybe he should take a lap around the store and come back? Maybe if he— _No, wait, here he comes._

Merlin’s heart gave a little pang of sympathy. The Blond Bloke/(Forgivably) Obnoxious Prat looked distinctly distressed tonight. Other people moved out of his way, but Merlin wasn’t put off. He wanted to go over and cheer the poor man up.

Merlin nodded once to himself, then stepped around the citrus fruits and started on a straight line toward the man. Blond Bloke paused to look at a floral arrangement, pressed his hand below the knot of his tie, curled his fingers in as if he were holding something. Merlin paused. The man tipped his chin back, tugged a thin chain out from underneath his shirt and tie.

Merlin furrowed his brow, squinted to make out what was dangling from the end and oh, fuck, it looked like a wedding ring. Merlin took a few steps closer, just enough to confirm his suspicions. It was a bit of a guess at this distance, but it looked like a woman’s ring. Maybe he was wrong, and the bloke had lost or gained weight and couldn’t wear his ring—in which case, damn, why did all the good ones have to be taken? But, what Merlin thought to be more likely, was that the man was a widower, and this was his dead spouse’s ring. It would explain the melancholy expression as he looked on at a bouquet of daisies.

Merlin was already headed toward him, and it would look strange if he suddenly turned around, but he couldn’t go forward with his plan now, couldn’t try chatting up a married man or a recent widower. Instead, he walked up beside the man, selected one of the bouquets at random.

Merlin could feel the widower’s eyes on him. For the sake of politeness, Merlin turned and said, “All right?”

The man cleared his throat, quickly tucked the ring back under his shirt, like he didn’t want Merlin seeing it. Maybe he really was married after all.

Either way, now wasn’t the time. Might never be the time with this guy.

“Fine,” the man said, cleared his throat again, and gestured at the flowers Merlin had picked up. “Sunflowers. Good choice. My mum used to love those. She grew them out in our garden every year when I was little.”

“Change her mind, did she?”

“Something like that.” The man gave him another smile, but it looked forced this time.

_Definitely a widower_. It was a conscious decision. One that assumed the situation where Merlin at least stood a chance of someday having a relationship with this man.

The widower’s phone rang, and the man pulled his mobile from his suit jacket. His forced smile faded to a more natural looking frown when he glanced at the screen. “Sorry. I have to take this.”

“No problem,” and Merlin walked away to leave the man in peace.

The next time he was out with his friends at the pub, Merlin avoided the topic as long as he could, but eventually Gwen and Will pushed for an update.

Merlin let his head drop to the table, mumbled out a miserable, “I think he’s a widower.”

“So?” Gwen said, sounding confused. “You won’t date a man that’s been married before?”

Merlin lifted his head up, said, “No. I mean, I think it’s recent. And I think it was a woman. God, he’s probably straight.”

Will nudged Merlin’s barely touched pint a little closer. He sat up enough to take several long pulls, then tipped his head back and drained the glass.

#### //The Single Father\\\

The next time Merlin saw his crush was the first time he’d ever seen the man in something besides a business suit. He wore jeans and a slim fitting tee that stretched across his broad chest, highlighting the fact that he did indeed have a nice, muscular physique, without being overly bulky. Merlin had never been fond of the bodybuilder look, but he liked a man with a bit more muscle than he had himself. He was the thin, wiry sort, which was fine and all, just not the sort of body Merlin found himself attracted to.

He walked past Merlin like a man on a mission, not even noticing him. Merlin had become used to at least getting a smile. And there was something else unusual today as well, a conspicuous stain on his right shoulder that drew Merlin’s attention. Merlin frowned at the oddity and turned to watch as the man veered down an aisle Merlin had never noticed him in before—the baby section. Merlin trailed along after him, curious. He passed the end of the aisle slowly as his crush lifted a package of disposable nappies off the shelf and headed to the checkout.

This just got worse and worse. Not only was he a recent widower, but he was the single father of a baby, too! No wonder he looked so tired all the time. This was a man that didn’t have time for enough sleep at night, let alone time for a date. If Merlin wanted to ask him out with any chance at getting an affirmative response, he was going to have to wait a long time. Bloody years, maybe! How long did people tend to wait after the death of a spouse? It was probably longer when there were children involved. His mum had never remarried, and if she’d ever dated anyone after his father died, then he had never heard of it. 

And kids, God! That was a whole other complication. Merlin had never expected to have kids of his own, and he was okay with that. Not because he was particually opposed to fatherhood. He’d just never thought it would actually happen for him.

He went home and poured himself a big glass of wine to drown his sorrows, then dumped it down the drain. This wasn’t healthy. He needed to stop thinking about the man, but he just… couldn’t. The more details of the man’s life he was able to fill in, the more he wanted to know. He wondered what the baby’s name was and whether his crush was the sort of father who preferred reading bedtime stories or singing lullabies. He wondered if the man had a trustworthy babysitter for the night, what one thing he would like to do more than anything else.

#### //The Hot Date\\\

Merlin wasn’t quite sure why he still bothered coming to the supermarket at the same time each week. The beautiful fantasy he had of dating the hot, single dad obviously wasn’t going to work out.

He phoned Gwen to complain as he finished his shopping. “I think I’ve been misreading all our interactions. Why am I doing this to myself, Gwen?”

“Because you’re a hopeless romantic, Merlin, but don’t give up. Just look at me and Lance. It took us forever to get together, but we’re going out for our second date this weekend.”

“That’s not the same at all.”

“Why not? Your mystery man might be pining after you just as much as you’re pining after him. Maybe he’s just nervous about approaching you because he’s worried that you’ll be put off by his family situation.” 

“No, he probably thinks I’m a stalker!” Merlin turned into the dairy aisle and found that his crush was already there, reading the nutrition facts on a container of yoghurt. Merlin’s immediate instinct was to flee. He’d barely started to turn around when the wheel on his trolley gave a loud squeak. The man looked up.

“Shit, he’s walking this way. What do I do?”

“You hang up the phone, Mer—”

Merlin ripped the phone away from his ear and shoved it into his back pocket.

“Hey,” the man said. 

“I wasn’t following you,” Merlin blurted out like an idiot.

“Oh? That’s a shame. And here I was hoping that you were working up the courage to ask me out.”

The Blond Bloke/(Forgivably) Obnoxious Prat/Recent Widower/Single Father looked at him with an exquisite, hopeful smile. Merlin was struck speechless. How could one man be so gorgeous? And why was his smile slipping?

The man wrinkled up his face in an embarrassed grimace. “I’ve just made a fool of myself, haven’t I? I’m so sorry. I really thought you were interested. Forget I said anything.”

It wasn’t until after the man started walking away that Merlin’s brain finally caught up.

“Drinks!” he said, overloud.

The man turned back, confused. “Sorry?”

“Not the kind two aisles over, but like, at a pub. We should meet for drinks one night. Saturday’s are good for me.”

The man’s smile burst back into full view, and he strode back to where Merlin still stood paralyzed.

“You’re very amusing when you’re flustered. Did you know that?”

Merlin gave a nervous bark of a laugh.

“Does seven o’clock work for you?

Merlin nodded, grinning.

“I’m Arthur, by the way.” And the man held out his hand.

Merlin returned the gesture. “Merlin.”

“Sorry, is it weird to shake the hand of someone you’ve just made a date with? I’m in business so I’m constantly shaking hands.”

“It’s all right. Not weird,” Merlin considered. “I don’t think so anyway.”

They met at the Rising Sun at the end of the week and Merlin spent the intervening time with a ridiculous grin on his face.

After so many weeks of watching the man from afar, Merlin had a long list of questions he wanted to ask Arthur. Aware of the potential to come off like an interviewer instead of a date, he restrained himself to a few basics and tried to stay away from topics Arthur might not be comfortable with on a first date. That didn’t mean he wasn’t dying of curiosity. He kept waiting for Arthur to tell him about his kid and the fact that he’d been married, but it never happened. No doubt Gwen was right, and he just didn’t want to scare Merlin away, but Merlin genuinely wanted to know all about him, including the parts of his life that others might see as messy.

Other than that, things seemed to be going really well. Merlin liked Arthur’s playful sense of humour and was surprised to learned that Arthur had noticed Merlin even before Merlin had noticed him.

After a few hours, Arthur said, “It’s getting a little noisy in here, but I don’t live too far away. Would you want to come back to mine?”

Merlin’s eyebrows shot up. Arthur still hadn’t mentioned his kid, so he really hadn’t expected to be invited back to his place.

Arthur misread his surprise. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that to sound too forward, it’s just that I really am starting to have trouble hearing, and I’ve wanted to meet you for so long.” Arthur paused. “You know, I was going to ask you out that day when I was in the queue right behind you, but then you put in your earbuds, the universal signal for ‘leave me alone.’

“No!” Merlin said, feeling scandalized.

Arthur laughed. “I swear. You can ask my sister sometime. She knows all about it.”

Arthur’s flat was immaculately clean for an average person, let alone for the father of a young baby. Merlin wondered how many hours it had taken to get the flat into this condition. Arthur must really want to make a good impression. Either that, or he was trying to hide the fact that he had a kid. Merlin wouldn’t stand for that. He didn’t want Arthur to feel like he needed to keep secrets.

While Arthur was in the kitchen making them a couple of drinks, Merlin took a brief look around Arthur’s living room. He had a bookshelf laden with an interesting mix of classics and speculative fiction. The wall adjacent to the windows was decorated with a large grouping of photos—Arthur as a teenager with his footie team, a couple in their late 40s or early 50s that were likely his parents, a few that looked like souvenirs from various holidays, and several of a beautiful dark-haired woman, one which featured her holding a tiny baby with a spattering of dark fuzz on his head.

Merlin was still staring at the photo when Arthur came back, holding a pair of glasses. Merlin accepted his and said, “So when are you going to tell me about your wife?”

“Wife?” Arthur laughed.

“Err… I mean late wife. I know it’s kind of rude to ask, but she must have been a huge part of your life. I’m not going to freak out about it or anything. I mean, it’s not going to lower my opinion of you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Merlin, I’ve never been married.”

“But… That ring you wear around your neck…”

Arthur pulled the ring out from under his shirt, held it up for Merlin to see. “My mother’s wedding ring. She passed away a little over a year ago.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.”

Merlin did some mental acrobatics, trying to restructure his image of Arthur’s life with what he knew and what he’d seen. That day Arthur had been so upset looking at those flowers… Had that been the anniversary of his mother's death? 

“Umm, but then, what about these photos?” Merlin gestured to the pictures of the beautiful woman on Arthur’s wall.

“My sister, Morgana.”

“I thought you had a child. You were buying nappies.”

“Sometimes I babysit my nephew, Mordred. Morgana’s not always good at bringing everything I’ll need when she drops him off. She denies it, but I think she does it on purpose just to irritate me. I can usually leave Mordred with my neighbour Alice if I have to run to the store.”

“Oh.” Merlin said again, at a loss. He sat down in the nearest chair, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“You really thought I was a widower and a father?”

“I feel so stupid.”

Arthur laughed at him, which he supposed was probably better then yelling, but it still didn’t feel good. Merlin put his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees so he didn’t have to look Arthur in the face.

“They say never to assume, but it all made perfect sense.”

Arthur didn’t say anything. Merlin thought maybe this was his cue to leave, but then he felt a light touch at his knee. He peeked between his fingers. Arthur was kneeling in front of him with a soft smile on his face.

“You thought all that and you still wanted to date me?”

“Well…”

“Most people would avoid someone in that situation.”

Merlin shrugged. “I want to get to know you. Not my fault I don’t yet.”

“Absolutely,” Arthur said. Then he seemed to think of something unpleasant because his smile slipped into a worried frown. “Are you… disappointed that I don’t have a child?”

“Arthur?”

“I mean, I guess that would make sense for a gay man who wanted a family. To see someone that you were attracted to and already had everything you were looking for. The… ready-made family business.”

“No, Arthur, it’s fine.”

“Because I’m not opposed to kids. In the future, I mean. If I found the right person to settle down with.” He paused to rub his hands against his trousers. “I mean. Adoption is always a possibility. If my partner wanted kids, too.”

“_Arthur_.” Merlin was smiling again because Arthur was worried that him not having kids would make him less desirable in Merlin’s mind. He was making assumptions too. “I wasn’t looking for a ready-made family.”

“No?”

Merlin shook his head. “I think maybe we need to have more conversations like this and stop making assumptions so much. I felt drawn to you from the moment I first saw you. When I saw you touching that ring, I admit I was disappointed. I thought you wouldn’t be interested in dating. Then I saw you in the baby aisle and assumed you were a father… I suppose if it were anyone else, that might have scared me away. I never really planned to have kids. It seemed like such an obstacle just finding someone I would want to live with the rest of my life. I hadn’t really considered much past that point. I certainly wasn’t planning on fathering any children myself. But then there was you, and it didn’t matter. I just wanted to get to know you, like I always had. Like I still do.”

“Then we want the same thing right now.”

Arthur gave him a smile that bordered on shy, and Merlin became aware quite suddenly of how close they were. He leaned in even closer and closed his eyes as Arthur did the same. Their lips pressed together softly, and somehow Merlin knew that this would be the last time either of them would experience the fleeting magic of a first kiss.


End file.
